2006-09-24
flit
I want to be with my old friends.
They help remind me who I am.
These people help me forget.
I can close my lids and put us back there. We're in an art gallery in Bigfork after or after meeting up with Ben, and each piece is so beautiful. Some are very simple, yet incredibly gracious. We peacefully point out to each other the ones that we like best. Just a flit of my lids and you and I are back there. And I yearn for it in a way I can't tell because I'm not sure myself. I just think about the teem-ness, how we were teeming with love and fondness for each other and knowing right now in this moment how that is no exaggeration.
I don't want to make people laugh anymore. I want to be dark because the light is blinding my eyes and how I see. I'm trying to understand how I feel, to wrestle with this mindset and win it over. It is an uncomfortable place because I don't know. I'm another kid with a backpack on walking through heavy doors and shoveling into a reservoir of deeper thinking and knowledge. That's me, taking notes and transferring myself from this building to that to do it some more. My indulgence is whining, and my creed is success, whatever the hell that is.
We could go on like this for a while, but it'll probably stop soon.
Just know that I flit my eyelids. I want to be back there as me, and if not me (I would not dare be you), I would even settle to be one of those simple, beautiful works on wall and I would hope with everythingthat you would point to me and say "I like that one."
leesah-likes at 12:45 p.m.