2006-09-21
falling into
tomorrow, autumn begins.
i didn't need a calendar to tell me that summer is now over. i feel so far from the notion of idle sunbathing and absorbing the goodness of my known friends. my world is so contrasted now.
..i have friends, but i don't "know" them. it is kind of amusing.
so the wind is howling, and the rain sprinkles on me when i go from building to building. the sky does feel less huge.
i am learning so many cool things. i wish i could articulate them all. i'll try, sometime. i almost feel like we are so busy pushing ahead with the fast pace that i don't really have time to bask. we press on.
i'm craving gatsby right now. something about the beautiful, enigmatic sense of that book, and the fall, and anticipation... i want it. and i know i can never claim it in a familiar sense. but perhaps that surge of life, of love, can show itself in other forms.
everyone who was hypnotized that i talked to (there was a hypotist here last weekend) claimed that they were just pretending. i wonder if that's happened to me, too.
if i told you i feigned the trance, would you believe me? would it matter?
i want to give my eyes some rest. i want to listen to this wind from this high up and let it lull me into unconsciousness, where maybe in my mind i can live in my warm summer world once more on its last day.
leesah-likes at 11:02 p.m.