2005-04-16
swinging
I was trying to think of a way that I could effectively write yesterday. Because it was the best day I have had in a long time. Probably the best since February 27. And I need to find a way to express April 16 in words so I can remember it and you can share in my bliss.
Naw, I don't think I can do it. It would be really difficult.
I love the way my eyes are green when I first wake up and look in the mirror as I wash my face.
I did tons of swinging today. That usually entails ups and downs, but not today (as in yesterday). Only the former were had. On my feet, on my seat, and in my racing heart and mind.
I woke up early yesterday morning (early translates to the single digit hours) and went to the high school. Nathan was sitting on the leather couch. I didn't recognize him, but I could tell by the way he was smiling at me that he knew who I was. We talked about bus 14 a little, which we used to ride together. It was so nice to see how he had grown.
The band played "Greenwillow Portait," which was incredibly serene. The clarinets were excellent. They also played a song by Robert Sheldon, who is one of my favorite band composers. I got to go in the warm-up room while they were there. I stood in front of them all and their smiling faces all looked back at me. I saw all of them at once: Katie, Celeste, Frannie, Amanda, David, Caleb, Mac, Keeley, Sami, Andrea, Emily, Jessie, Stephanie, Alia, Jennifer, Tanner!, and so on! I kept hearing them say my name. And you know how you can tell- even on the phone- when someone is talking and you know their mouth is grinning? That's how it was. Kellan told me I was the same spunky old me. That made me feel good. I am consistent. Seeing Mr. Mazurek up there brought back so many memories. I could hear him talking to the band before they started. "Is everyone ok? Does anyone need something?" Pulling his glasses out of his pocket and making a comment about how old he is to loosen everyone up. I miss this band. I miss playing softball. And that lattermost comment isn't as random as it appears: he was my coach, too.
Afterward, I drove to Laurence (or Lawrence, whatever the underwater basketweaver prefers) Park. That in itself was an adventure. We played frisbee and used up all our film. It was a bit more dismal because my teammates' apathy started rubbing off on me a bit. But it was so good to have everyone together. I could say so many nice things about everyone who was there. It was great. Just sitting together, eating three truffles, basking in the sun, was good enough. Then I drove Thomas home. That was awesome. I forgot to visit Simba though. Maybe he remembered and didn't want me to because he thinks the cat hates me. It's ok. I keep listening to the CD.
But the day continued to surpass any sufficiency. We went to the orchestra performance. Beethoven's 5th was almost as good the second time around, which means it was really great. I love the sound of the strings upon the amber wood as they blend into something so strong and definitive as the bows flex across.
And just because this reminded me, the choir performance the prior evening was equally astounding. I can't decided was better, the looks of vivid joy and passion on the singers' face, or the sounds which were produced therein. It's really inspiring, even though sitting next to Julian made me want to laugh. You could sense the anticipation, the inevitability. And there was no auditorium to distance me from the direct sounds.
Entonces, West Valley school. We sang on the way, "Only to be with you... but I still haven't found what I'm looking for." I hadn't been there since grasshopper pie, which is a long time ago if you think about it. But Petie looked at me empathetically and said it hadn't been that long. They sat in the car as if they were waiting for the rest of the party, but I went for it. I sat on the blue swing. The sun was shining through the clouds. I slowly elevated myself and my hair started to flow in front of my face and then back out again. I moved it out of my view. I pointed my chin upward as I continued to move. And slowly but surely, it came to me. Full-throttle bubblebathism. I was immersed in myself and the deep feeling inside of me. Nothing else mattered but me and the swing, and I begin to sing just as I used to. It had been too long. That swing lead me to an unknown epiphany that I now contain somewhere within myself. All I know is that it has to do with me and no one else.
The tag itself was pretty good, although it's been better. At least I didn't get hurt this time. I found a good balance of hiding and running and rescuing. Hearing Michael's voice through the tubes was probably the best part. I really like the sound of Michael's voice. Then Eric drove me home. I love singing with him. Jump jivin' whale would carry me through the rest of the night.
Geez. Then I had the sweetest dessert. I'm not describing this one, because then it'll taint my memory. But let's just say that maybe the involved traditions/supersitions will someday, anyday, be fufilled. I wouldn't drop them on purpose, but these things happen for a reason, right?
Swing dancing was so cool. It's amazing to think that the music stops mattering, because I was somehow under the impression that that was the most important part. But afterward I would delightfully learn that the music isn't even necessary because the crescent moon can compensate. But before that, as I attempt to remain chronological, I loved dancing with my friends. Michael is my cue for a smile. Eric was spiffy in suspenders and taught me the true form of the backstep. Julian and I made each other lightheaded in ways more than one, and we have the best poses. Petie and Sean were great together, and Sean's hands felt cool and nice. But Quincy taught me everything I know about dancing, honestly. I've learned lots from him. Amongst the lessons is never to leave before it's over.
I later went to the cupola at Conrad. And did more of what I did before. And thought a little, and wondered. But mostly tried to remain articulate and eager. Magical is the best word to describe it.
And then I didn't sleep well, but you wouldn't have either if you had experienced everything I had yesterday. I don't know if I deserve all this. I want to be good enough for all of it. Let's say I have found plenty of reasons to smile and have fully done so. My cheeks hurt so bad. I want to thank the world for allowing me to have such a good friday. Nope, it's not too effective, but I have bits and pieces of it down. And now a wagonload of homework awaits. But maybe the bliss of ayer can continue manana (con squiggly).
leesah-likes at 3:01 p.m.