2005-03-10
lumber
Today was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like, it wasn't easy, but I thought it would be hard and it wasn't. I think I dun good on my English test, and I made people laugh today. That's important.
They say the weather tomorrow will be beautiful. I want to play with my friends. I hope I get to.
I've decided to stop looking at some other people's blogs. And I'm not going to be direct about it, because no one has yet. One has excessive moral ambiguity, and the other put a crack in something of mine- and it wasn't the top of my creme brulee.
Things are constantly changing. Press on, little camper press on. I need to press when I remind myself why I feel a little hollow inside when the air gets through within me. And when I make games in my head, ones where I can never ever win in the end. Press on.
"Lumber" is a very odd term. And just add an "s," and it's a whole different thing (I got plenty). Seeing the process was pretty cool. Lauren grabbed me a woodchip as a souvenir, it was pretty sweet. They gave us ear plugs. I took an extra pair because who knows when they'll come in handy.
We went to Byte-Savvy too. It's this computer store downtown. At one point, the owners- a married couple- were explaining what they do. The wife was talking, and she said, "sometimes I just need to needle dick around." Some of us just cracked up. It didn't matter that that was he hushand's name, it was pretty funny to hear someone say needledick like that.
Teddy Roosevelt had a voice like Mickey Mouse. Who knew?!
My mom and I went to Charlie Wong's for soup. There is a lawn ornament shop right acrosst the street! I have to check that out some time.
I want to run to the funeral. I want to feel my heart pumping with vigor/fervor within my chest, surrounded by corpses submerged six feet. I want to feel that alive, gasping for oxygen and creating movement, on the earth by those who are no longer. This will be my romance.
Take it slow, take it easy, don't worry. Be big, be strong, be more of oneself. Look upward, look forward, move all the face muscles and FEEL. Take the air, let it back out, tell the brain to shut up. My fingers are flickering. Time for the piano. Keep going, don't stop.
leesah-likes at 6:46 p.m.