2010-09-12
amalgam redux
the following is an amalgam of some things that have inspired me as of late
from broken social scene
All these people drinking lover's spit
They sit around and clean their face with it
And they listen to teeth to learn how to quit
tied to a night they never met
from the nyt magazine feature on twenty-somethings
Young men and women are more self-focused than at any other time of life, less certain about the future, and yet also more optimistic. They have not yet tempered their idealistic visions of what awaits. The dreary, dead-end jobs, the bitter divorces, the disappointing and disrespectful children... none of them imagine that this is what the future holds for them. Ninety-six percent of young adults are sure that someday they will get to where they want to be in life. However, they is also the frustration, uncertainty, a sense of not quite understanding the rules of the game.
from 'mad men'
We�re flawed because we want so much more. We�re ruined because we get these things, and wish for what we had.
.....
She�s a sweet girl. She wants me to know her, but, I already do. People tell you who they are, but we ignore it. We want them to be who we want them to be.
.....
I looked up at the barbizan and I thought of all the women in there, one in every room, touching themselves to sleep.
i think one of the greatest human tragedies may be that we want life and the world to be fair and just. we know the axioms by heart, as that is where they deeply and steadfastly reside: that people get what they deserve; that any given input will result in a comparable output; that good things happen to good people, and hard work leads to success, that opening your heart to someone will lead to a fulfilling companionship. like we are born in life presuming these defaults, and/or they are instilled in us by those who raise us, perhaps because those people, in quiet desperation, are still hoping and waiting for them to be true.
I don't know what happens.
I don't know how I make a life out of this adulthood
or how to not let twenty-two silently slip away
I don't know how to make myself vulnerable, or get completely engrossed in my forty-hour-a-week job,
I am okay with being patient, and the way that this feels. It is an interesting feeling, still novel enough that I am compelled by it instead of frustrated and ready for it to pass. I do feel independent, I do feel I am on the right track. Things will slowly fall into place, I can see it happening already. I am a proactive person. Things will never be resolved, but they are working their way toward a moderately comfortable stability.
And when you come to me for help, or just to have someone to talk to and then wait for their response, I will tell you the same things that I tell myself. To take each day at a time, to delve into the gratitude of your life situation (despite your inevitable dissatisfactions) and let this gratefulness teem over and full your emptiness; to remember the people that care about you no matter what, and to do something good for your heart, like run. I get hung up on big blanket statements that I know to be true, like "Life is hard." I agree. But it's lots of stuff. And I just want to wear sneakers and ride a bicycle down the middle of an empty neighborhood street, as a breeze carries off some of the maple leaves, cause it's autumn and they're fallin.
leesah-likes at 11:19 p.m.