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leesah-likes

(a memoir)

#09

2009-03-14

desire is (not) suffering

I want things (sorry, Buddha). A summer psych research internship. To run long endurance, daily. To eat things that make my body happy, rather than superficially satiating my mind and my tongue. I want all A�s so I can get into a good school (a resounding paradigm in my life, it seems- I, the perpetual student) and thus increase my likelihood of learning academia of the highest possible quality. And I want to kiss, to be held, to find someone who I want badly enough that I will willingly and thrillingly surrender myself to the vulnerability and exhilarating exposure of sharing myself with them. These are the things that I want. If I could have them, I would be ultimately happy. But another thing I want is to be happy without them, if I do not fully achieve them, to hold the intention and make my way toward them, some progress, if not absolute. Wanting these things is good.

leesah-likes at 2:55 p.m.

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