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leesah-likes

(a memoir)

#09

2009-08-07

must be a lie

I feel tired; I have no reason to be tired like this. It�s been a week near lethargy, in some ways.

She got jumper cable lips
She got sunset on her breath
I inhaled just a little bit
Now I got no fear of death

It would be easy to say, I�ve got nothing for you here. But I know that�s not the case. There�s lots, and I could list it off. Impending fear of loneliness, eschewing potential, secondhand inspiration and lukewarm, vicarious thrill� trepidacious future.

Maybe he�s right, maybe I�m an appreciator, not a creator. I thought he was right as I carelessly flicked my watercolor brush across the mountains, the blue bleeding into the purple. I didn�t see a point in trying too hard. When you put in effort, it sucks when you fail.

And I realize I don�t have a lot of answers, and just end up brooding in response. I want to feel more alive. Jumper cable lips. Oooohh, I could die.

A want to prod at the default mode, poke the status quo, prick mundanity. I know what I�m getting at. Next time I�ll offer up something a bit more coherent.

leesah-likes at 12:06 a.m.

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