2007-02-11
you so un-crazy
And true affection floats
True affections sinks like a stone
I've been questioning my sanity a little bit lately.
At the science museum, there was this really cool artistic display. In a black corner, a guy had stretched hundreds of taut fibers across each side of the corner, ones of all different colors. The threads blended and layered. As you approach the threads, they appear to bounce and shift, even though they are clearly tightly tacked to the wall and are not moving at all. It's kind of trippy.
Perception is kind of trippy. Like these optical illusions, and how they indicate that we do not see all that physically exists before us; we group and filter to make images more coherent within our minds. There is a profound disparity between what is real, objective, and actual, and what is viewed and processed by our fallible senses and erratic minds.
I know I possess this discrepancy, and I am afraid of it. I do love imagination and whims and hope and optimism, but I have been living in a mind that best corresponds with the real, objective, shared reality. Oh, I just don't know. I am a little afraid of my insanity. I try to avert it, I am scared to prod at it and play. I avoid the hainus laughter, the ridiculous thoughts, and hilarious misanthropy dwarfed by an overwhelming surge of universal love. I'm not giggling ferociously, I'm calm and rational and here.
The insanity does compel me- we all have a little crazy in us and it really is something (excuse the lame description) to be in touch with that delusion in the most joyous way possible.
....the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars...
-Jack Kerouac
Maybe it's about time that I start embracing more of my own madness. Don't be afraid, be excited!
leesah-likes at 9:30 p.m.