2007-02-05
moley colander
I have two moles on my right cheek. I always have, as naturally on my face as my nose. For some two week segment of sixth grade, I decided I didn't want them anymore. Every time I saw my own reflection, my eyes went straight to these two marks, the ones I had always dismissed and considered a simple part of me. They were a flaw, too brown, too big, not right. I had my mom take me to the dermatologist. He convinced me that removal would leave a scar, and I reluctantly relented. I haven't cared since.
I thought about this while standing in front of the mirror a moment ago. I took a minute to notice them and study them, which is something I never do. I could see them as two separate dots on my face, food crumbs, whatever. I think it's so funny. As people, we're just one big filter. There's a bajillion stimuli out there, an infinite amount of things that we can take in and consider, react to, or reject. Some sinks in, some is spat out, and others aren't even brought to light. I've filtered out my moles, they are a dormant concern. I know what we allow in or out isn't always to our discretion, but it's crazy to think about the things that are up to us.
What do you allow to get to you, and what do you dismiss? How do you let things go, take things in, react with awe, and all the other possibilities? How does a certain reaction or lack thereof match the stimuli? Moles on face equals don't care. Drunk guy being cruel equals get sad then let it go. Danny equals do nothing and just enjoy yourself. Food in mouth equals swallow.
I just confuse myself sometimes. Eyes closed equals try to sleep.
leesah-likes at 9:08 p.m.