2007-01-10
must be more.
�There must be more to this life.�
It is a dangerous statement, because it beckons a pessimistic mode of thought that ruefully sighs at passive potentials rather than finding satisfaction in the present.
Also, I�ve abolished �should�s and �must�s from my vocabulary lately. I have no need for obligation-filled words like those, so such a sentence would seemingly have little weight for me. Plus, I try not to think idealistically. I can accept less-than-completely-favorable situations and �make the best of how things are.�
But the notion of it haunts me anyway, and the idea drifts in when I�m finding myself locked in this schedule of classes and the exhausting learning while not evolving relationships with those who surround me. My only wiggle-room is being quirky sometimes, and even that can become caricatured. I�m left to imitate some hollow, hesitant version of myself, go through each day as it blends with the one before, and be confused enough about all of it to end up regretfully asking myself, �isn�t there something better?�
Isn�t there...??
leesah-likes at 12:27 a.m.