2006-10-05
indeed
I want to use the word "indeed" more. It is a very good word indeed.
Amelia put up pictures of our Tally Lake trip on Facebook. That was so fun. I love my friends so much. I send them my blessings. They're really good people.
Yesterday I was talking to Jhanna about how sometimes I feel so lonely here and it's hard knowing that I live in this place with all these people and there's still not a deep, authentic connection with people. She reminded me that most people feel that way, and there's not much we can do besides keep going and let things get their course. What she said that really got me is that you might not necessarily like everyone, but everyone can help you grow in some way. Each person you meet- whether they are plesant and enjoyable or not- have something about them from which you can learn.
Realizing that reminded me that life is so transient. I'm here for four years. People will weave in and out of my life. I'm the only constant, and it's what I choose to take from my surroundings that will make the difference. And I want to take a lot. I want to take it all. At least that's how I think I feel.
It's been difficult with that in class lately, that "thirst" for knowledge that was always a given. I think it's lacking. I'm not sure what do to about it. I think the nature of the learning- how it's so demanding and novel- makes it more difficult to enjoy. But I really want to.
Yesterday in philosophy, we spoke about how similar a mind is to a computer, how the processing mechanisms are so discrete and specially functional and systematic. The idea is almost sobering, a very amazing. And your thoughts, your flightiest whims, they can all be explained in terms of chemicals and physical properties.
An aspect that we discussed that is certainly demanding on the brain is poetry. Even the best synthetic mechanical brains cannot emulate a way to process poetry. It's too difficult to piece it all together: the aestetic value, the implications, the innuendo...
...It's not only machines that struggle with such. I've been anything but prolific. Just trying to articulate this crap is hard enough. I don't know why I can't explain what it's like here. I can't write it out in its truth with the flavor it deserves. Maybe I just need more time, but it's unsettling.
A view from Petie's porch is my desktop. I love that view. I hope when I return to it again that it does not feel foreign. I hope so indeed.
leesah-likes at 7:19 p.m.