2006-07-18
make it so
I feel I have to write to establish some coherence in my mind.
I have to commit feelings and thoughts with words; I must consolidate my emotions and press them into sentences and phrases. Any incredible whim that overtakes me, I lasso it down.
I take some notion that swirls in my mind and attempt to draw it out of me like you might donate blood. I force it to flow from my head and down to my arm and out onto the paper to express it. The resulting reflection is there, and albeit descriptive and perhaps poignant, it is two-dimensional and at a loss of the sacred freshness of the original thought. The essence of it is harnessed.
I want to transcend this need for understanding. Because it is not a true necessity, but a yearning that seems to be like paddling upstream. Nothing now has to be understood, assessed, justified, or quantified.
It can just be. And appreciated, in a content and satisfied way.
And so maybe it will.
leesah-likes at 10:44 p.m.