2006-02-26
be still my heart
The colleges look so nice on their brochures.
The sky is almost this artificial blue, but you know it's real. Just maybe a little enhanced.
What if things really looked the way that they look in photographs? If food was always shiny and steamy, intricately detailed, and grass blades look identical? And you could remove that mole mark from the face?
I like to mole mark. And the drab sky works right now.
I feel a bit exhausted; I feel drained. It's as though someone squeezed out a little of my leesahjuice and diluted me to fill up the volume.
I try to be sincere to all my customers.
There is a lot do to, and little is left for writing about myself of this blog. There will be more time and more artisitic energy to express later on. And yes, it's worth waiting around for.
things that have happened and not been documented:
- This:
A gigantic beauty of a stallion,
fresh and responsive to my caresses,
Head high in the forehead, wide between the ears,
Limbs glossy and supple, tail dusting the ground,
Eyes full of sparkling wickedness, ears finely cut, flexibly moving.
His nostrils dilate as my heels embrace him,
His well-built limbs tremble with pleasure as we race around and return.
I but use you a minute, then I resign you, stallion,
Why do I need your paces when I myself out-gallop them?
Even as I stand or sit passing faster than you. - He made me smile. When he walked past while I was scanning cauliflower. Just the sight of him. No, I don't know who he his, and at this point it doesn't really matter.
- Still promdateless. It's okay.
- I think I am worse at math than other things because it requires me to be a machine. I made a bad machine. I am good at mental processes and I am discipline, but it is all in spirit (see Whitman above). It's hard to just say "oh well" about this though. I wish I was better. Calculus can eat my faeces.
- A silent view of Lonepine in the darkness.
I've told too many people about Chicago. Bad move. At least I haven't been thinking about it too much lately.
I think this would make a quasi-ideal prom dress. If only my body was bronzed from my skin being dowsed with warm, serene sunshine for endless hours. sigh.
I'm ready for what comes next. I need more sleep, and less time doing nothing. This is included in "nothing." That's okay.
Sleep is important. It can re-juice me or something. (How nutritious is leesahjuice anyway?) Losing consciousness results in rejuvination. To sleep, perchance to dream. To wish. Wishes are beautiful. Here's a version of my latest wish. See you when I do.
I was running late for work
So I didn't change my shirt
The evening's drinks left a lingering taste in my mouth
And when I left
You were fast asleep
Tangled in the sheets
And on the bus I could have sworn it was all a dream
And it didn't happen to meAnd then I felt the scrapes
From the slippery subway grate.
Oh how you laughed
At my complete lack of grace.
But I could not recall
A more perfect fall
Cause when I looked up into your eyes
It didn't hurt at all.And I thought, be still my heart
This could be a brand new start, with you.
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here with me in the morning.And I thought, be still my heart
This could be a brand new start, with you.
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here with me in the morning.
leesah-likes at 6:54 p.m.