2006-02-02
a brief word on letting go
letting go is something that you don't learn to do until you have to.
and then it is hard.
and it becomes a little easier with the time; the two are directly proportionate.
...but i don't know. it isn't always gradual. and there are lapses and such.
but letting go is growing.
it makes you evaluate everything, all that you had, have, and will have. all you were, are, and will be.
it's tough.
sometimes you don't even want to.
and you can't force it.
and it comes naturally at its own rate.
it makes you stronger in your own way, more resilient and open to change.
and it's important to be open to change, because we are changing all the time. even when things seem boring, life is altering, and we are shifting along with it.
until you lose something, you are allowed to relish and obliviously indulge in what you have. you can grasp and hold on and take what you have for granted, feel comfort that you can't even recognize because you are just so used to it.
when it's gone, it's like losing some of your oxygen supply. it helped you breathe. but soon enough you find that you can inhale on your own.
letting go is hard, but necessary. it will improve you, it will reinforce the strength of your character, of being able to handle difficult and frustrating situations, and of learning to move on.
moving on is weird, and i don't see it as some separate, definitive action. it just happens. it's different than letting go, but obviously must come after. maybe the two are mutually exclusive; you either are holding on or moving on. i don't know.
i like letting go. it's a good, fulfilling feeling. looking back, it's formed me, shaped me, in some amazing ways.
the process isn't exactly fun. and it's difficult when you know you should "just let it go," but you can't, because it's not what you feel inside.
and if it's not what you feel, it's not what you feel.
i'm glad i've let go. insofar as i have.
i've come a long ways.
and it's because i am learning to let go.
PS- Happy Groundhog Day.
leesah-likes at 8:57 p.m.