2005-12-04
fly me to the moon
if i ever have a family of my own, my husband and i are going to have a lot of inside jokes. we'll make subtle references to them in the car when we're driving somewhere and the kids will have no idea what we're talking about and we'll just snicker and giggle about it. the jokes could be about anything, and they will be just ours.
i like gingerbread cookies. but i like friends even more. i like dancing and singing (especially in an apron) and making people smile and trying to show how i appreciate them. old matchbox 20 from 6th grade rocks my world!
the sky was so clear last night. often in the winter, the sky is pillowed with clouds. o.k., maybe not a like a pillow, perhaps more of a sheet because it can be a pretty thin layer, but still too thick to really see through. the clouds are a lighter colour, although not white. it's almost a grey, and sometimes a brown, and often mauve as city lights seem to have a strange effect on the shade.
last night though, it was lucid. the sky was the darkest navy it could be without slipping into black. this was the perfect stage for the stars, although that sort of metaphor isn't quite accurate because it would mean that the stars are some sort of performers. i would think it's the other way around. the stars don't perform for us, we perform for them. they look on from a distant, cold spot and sometimes shimmer a bit, urging us on. this is wintertime, make it happen, whatever your �it� may be.
christmas has always been a very interesting experience for me. i can distinctly remember a lot of them, but i don't mind if they blend in my memory. it's always a similar experience, yet exquisitely different.
midnight mass is so special, because in my own way, i really do believe. it's not in a conventional catholic way, and it's not even some semblance of religion. it's just a divine rejoice in love and the beauty of sacred traditions. come all ye faithful... i'm faithful! yup!
it really is amazing to think about how people change. going from believing to God and worshipping Him to a sense of atheism is a drastic shift, or vice-versa. imagine something else, like spending an entire year in a foreign country away from everything you've known*. or tasting success and a fleeting yet important victory, losing someone close in your life, and the bitterness of being hurt in a tender area. it's remarkable (hence the remarking) to think about how we change. we change based on our reactions to experiences, and these reactions and what we take away from the events help shape us. we then choose, or alter our approach, to new experiences. it is a flux.
we are constantly shedding layers of our self. what is that one statistic- every few weeks you have a completely new layer of skin, i think. we brush of hundreds of skin flakes each day. our hair and nails grow out. women constantly build up and shed new walls of tissue to host a fetus. men have a sperm supply that must be released and then replenished. we morph and grow taller, fatter, darker, lighter.
and sweeter. smarter. stronger.
every day in every way, we are getting better and better. a new and improved version! ultra! super-ultra-plus! all the way to infinity! yuss!
*i just talked to aaron and he seems to be doing well. he's something he said: �yeah, here "am" is prounouced "um"and is a very dirty word indeed. i get many strange looks when i speak turkish with "um" as a break between my fragmented sentences.�
i think now is a good time to... do.. anything! so bye.
leesah-likes at 12:46 p.m.