2005-03-15
the ides
I don�t want to go into this with any expectations. I can tell myself I�m going to paradise and then maybe it won�t happen! Don�t anticipate the best, because it just might not happen. Julian is adopting this approach when it comes to our vacations, and I think I shall do the same.
But paradise is a state of mind. The bright sun will shine warmly on my face. I will see an eternal horizon of sky. I will get to be in my grandmothers� arms, and talk to my brother about everything. My mom will keep reminding me what�s real and incredible about myself and my reality. I�ll squeeze sand between my feet and collect as many seashells as I can carry.
I�m leaving my math book at home. I�m not taking the school, either. It will stay here, and people will go to it and wish they were where I will be. But that doesn�t really matter, I�ve never been big on envy.
I have to say I�m going to miss my friends. The ones who asked how I am in a way not just conversational, the ones who care enough to show it. Everyone needs this break. Let�s go break spring. My teachers are being really nice, but they�re weary. I still have stuff I�m bringing in tomorrow. And then I fly out on delta. Change.
You see, life is changing. It really is remarkable. It is as consistent as the sky. Time passes easily, and morphs into what we create of it. I can honestly say I am good. My past is sore like some backache you remember when you lean over, but my future is pretty cheery. And that is the right word for it. I�m not flexing, which is a pretty funny way for me to put it. Things look brighter already.
I think love follows the laws of conservation of energy. This might be rather profound. You tell me! Caesar lives.
I won�t be back in a while, so this page won�t change. That kinda leaves some pressure. Like this is what�s going to be up there for two weeks, better make it good! Well gosh. Whomever you are, reading this whenever, thanks for coming. It means you�re interested. And if you�re not, then stop coming!
I have to go pack. This must be enough said. I have things to do, and a paradise to have. bye!
leesah-likes at 9:05 p.m.