2005-03-07
fecundant
My nose is cold and no one is here to warm it! I have been alone for the past six hours and have been swept away in fecundity. I forsee so much now. Just starting this next week makes it all readily apparent. I am leaving next Wednesday. There is a lot to do before then!
I'm still confused about what I want. Maybe I want what she has. I used to have it, I don't know any more and I'd be too afraid to ask. This is the most trifling part of my brain right now. Stupid wanting. I don't need to want. I can just have what I have. I don't want to disucss it here any more, I do enough of it within the head.
My fingers feel funny from playing the pinao. I'm getting better at the whole flicker thing. I think my pinky muscles tense up though, which is quite counter-productive.
I had a dream the other night about English class. I am worried about the Crime and Punishment final test. I would have underlined that book title, but then it would show up in yellow and I don't want it to do that. I read the book. I have a lot more work than most of the other people in the class because I have to ask them a bunch of stupid questions to them about it. Shakespeare once said, "First thing we do, let us kill all the lawyers." That's probably not verbatim, but pretty darn close.
I could police-out a little and write about the book I read, but I'm not really in the mood. And people shouldn't do things that they aren't in the mood for. I think that it should be a legitimate excuse to not show up at work. But not for school Because then no one would ever come.
What comes next? Sleep. Read Chemistry text. Shower. Figure out that stupid book(s) that I resent because it is actually too smart for me to fully comprehend. I'm reminding myself a little of Mrs. Senger. She is a biologist, and she says it is by far her weakest subject. This is not a direct comparison. But I know what she means. Oh, probably not in that order.
In second grade, we made this "ant" book as a class. We each did a page featuring a word that had "ant" in it, and then drew a corresponding picture of ants related to the word. I did "distant." I drew ants having a picnic on a hill from a faraway view. I think about it sometimes.
I heard lots of good secrets today. I don't have any myself! I'll conjure some sometime. Time to go to something else, fare well.
leesah-likes at 9:19 p.m.