2004-10-06
anniversary
it has to be done, it must be noted. today is my anniversary. upon this day exactly one year ago was my first at this high school. that was a long, long time ago. i want to recount it as best i remember.
the song before school, looking in the mirror at self. swedish fish and favorite sweater. actually packed clarinet and gym clothes. mom and i to boshee, i can't have late lunch. miss all of first period since we're talking about my academic future. second period in band room, they are having a circle day. see two people i recognize from speech last year, actually speak up of how it's hard to march around corners. i had to sit by the band teacher and he seemd nice enough (no mr mazurek to be sure) but kindof smelled. pe next, finding the locker room was tough, and rambunctious girls kept ringing the doorbell thing, actually dressed out and experienced the weirdness of co-ed pe. home for lunch, amazed by all the people, couldn't stop to think just sat there at the table for a breather for a few minutes. not fully unpacked yet. afterward biology i was back early i guess i stood by the door planning on entering early and introducing myself but she was busy with another student so i just peeked. then the actual class i didn't notice everyone looking at me but they really must have been thinking about it now. the classwork was weird farmer stuff worksheets. spanish next, i feebly intoduced myself to her with the little spanish i could sofar employ. hola, me llamo lisa. soy de polson. she was sure to make sure i could pronunce her last name, it's a toughy. i recognized no one in the class and she put me in a nice cozy back corner. math last period, the day had been long. the desks were almost all full in that one, i ended up in the front row in one of two remaining. they were taking a test the next day and she told me she wanted me to take it tomorrow just to see and that it wouldn't count. after school, i actually went to speech practice. mr. o proudly introduced me to the entire squad, he had gotten an email from my old coach recommending me and my "talents." i had to give a speech to him that day, it was about how stupid people are, and i used a reference to "dumb and dumber" even though i don't remember anything from that movie. walked home afterward and couldn't really remember the blur of it all. mom didn't ask a lot of questions, surprisingly enough. i think i called everyone that night just to hear their voices. kara, kellie, amy, lindsy, ben. their tones were apprehensive and sad as i tried to recount it all. they really, really missed me, it was obvious. school there just two weeks before, the going away party of which i still look at pictures of today. saying goodbye to tanner and the beautiful view of the town at night while reading all the goodbye notes and blessings. last time on aspen lane and packing the room so so empty. god, that was my life. all the way back to the last bus ride and saying goodbye to vern after six years on it every day. i kept it a secret from everybody as long as a could, god. that was life just one year ago. look back. nothing is the same i freshman in say, may or even a sophomore in maybe september would never believe or fathom an imagine that this would be my future. all those nights the first few weeks thinking, what the hell am i doing here? now it's more like what was i doing there? remember those nights lisa on the trampoline, looking up to that sky with the trees surrounding you from every side and the wind of a car passing down the lane? the contours of the lake and using that bridge twice daily? sunsets?! kristine endless hours wasting away with robby in unsure bliss knowing the predestined future so damn well. it's incomprehensible where i am now compared to then, some alternate reality. there. here.
...where was i going with this? oh, yes, it's the anniversary. one year. a candle not blown out, but lit up.
leesah-likes at 9:13 p.m.