2004-07-28
emphasizing
whoa the little text box. little. little is a strangely amusing word when you emphasize the "t"s. emphasis. ugh. leesah is somber right now. can you sense it? does the stench of self-pity loom in the online air? this is my trip. how i spend my summer vacation. i like my family, they are nice very nice.
weeping willows are so very beautiful. i aspire to look like one, as weird as it sounds. i grow sick of being weird, really. normal could possibly come just as easily. wearing all the right clothes, listening to the right music, eating (or not eating for that matter) all the right things, and so on. right. hah. as you know, i am left. southpaws unite. this is the part where you offer me your shoulder, and i willingly take it. you aren't you. but i, as always, am me.
i had so many dreams last night. like i mentioned beforehand, i write them down. so many. i dreamt of all my old friends from home, things were the way they used to be. this is the part where i get really nostalgic. i miss them all. i must post their pics so everyone can see the amazing people i know. amy lindsy kara lizz ben robby clarissa tanner isaac matt sami emily ashley kellie andrea jennifer lena mattie... so many incredible friends. and there, i've reduced them to names. memories are not lost. ugh, enter that in my corny sentences for this week, prolly totally in the dozens. (?)
i used to be hopeless, but that gets kind of old. i am far from being a damsel-in-distress, and i feel quite self-sufficient actually. no one should doubt the power of independance. it's more fun than the tango, aha ha. i wish julian was here. he has no idea what in the sam hill is going on. speaking of, sam hill must have been quite a guy if he now has his own southern axiom. go sam go! not that i would tell him anything anyway (noo i'm not talking about sam, catch up!) but still, his presence is incredibly wonderful. you can make a metaphor out of anything, i am convinced. like my bee sting.
all of these songs are whirring around in my head. most of them meaningless, but still stuck. when i am king, you will be first against the wall. i am one of those melodramatic fools. i won't spend another night alone. you swear you loved me more. the freckles in our lives are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned. is this it. breathe out, so i can breathe you in. yeah, that one. listen to it, will you? for pete's sake. he was a good guy, that pete. really.
"looking at the stars makes me feel good about myself."
isn't it funny when people say "idea" with an "r" at the end?! "idear." say it to me randomly and nonchalantly and a laugh is guaranteed. if your name is lester, you are automatically funny. i wonder how those fat people in the opera sound when laugh. i bet it's hilarious. i like laughing at other people laughing. it's inexplicable.
ouch baby ouch! my grandmother was trying to tell me how old a distant relative is, and she was like "he is now seven o'clock" and said that instead of seven years. that was pretty funny too.
hey, whatever happened to somberness? somberism? it has left the building. now i am left with my stupid self. left, hah. no one can make me laugh like my friends. that makes sense though, i suppose.
ah, that scooter! incredible. yes, tired words. speaking, speaking is good. you are all still behind me, but being ahead is a bit lonely. we'll see.
subconsciously everone knows and admits that high school relationships are superfluous and fear to admit an emotion that doesnt exist. this michael said, i don't what to think of it.
leesah-likes at 11:22 p.m.