2004-06-13
boys trip me up
i'm so stupid like this. with guys. i get so confused about what i'm feeling at it all just kinda trips over the next emotion that i feel. wow that makes no sense.
it was like this back in polson too. like yeah i like this guy.. no wait i don't. i'm with him and every time i don't even stop to consider what i'm actually feeling, we just spent time together and i don't judge it. it's afterwards that i start thinking about all of it and him and then it just gets so complicated in my head! how do i know what i am really feeling? the last thing i wanna do is persue sometime when it's really nothing. that would really suck.
ok. i won't do anything about this. i'm not confident enough for it anyway. i know how this goes with me. sometimes i don't really like a guy, just the idea of someone like him in my life. someone just like him. but the actual him..?
bah.. i guess i could rant about this in worse ways, like to actual people, so this isn't so mad even though i sound like a lunatic. whatever. enough boy thoughts. they are too hard on the brain. it's easier to settle for senseless hopes with gorp (cough). i'll be right back.
leesah-likes at 11:02 p.m.