2004-05-07
socially guitarded
I was just looking at my friend's online journal thing and she mentioned in an entry from last month that she hasn't been happy since February 17. I wonder what the difference is between 2.17 compared to every day since.
What makes me happy any way? I think last time I was happy was this morning. Maybe. I felt myself again. My true identity (if there is such a thing) seems to come and go in waves. I was here again during early bird. Then I gradually started to vanish. Weird I know but that's how it seems.
I hope life starts to become more meaningful soon. Especially with people. I love both Sarahs but feel like I really can't relate to them the way I need to. Petie isn't any easier at all. Julian and Ben are out of it too. No one can see how I feel. I guess my face doesn't scream out "I need you!" like how I feel inside. Or maybe it does but no one seems to think I'm worth it. Now there's a depressing thought. No more of that.
I'm so damn sick of my inferior perceptions. I'm so misunderstood wah wah wah. Makes me sound like some kind of screwed up lonely emo chick. Eh not quite there yet. But I have been known to strum a mean air guitar.
leesah-likes at 8:44 p.m.