2010-04-12
when
i am happiest when
what if i knew how to complete that, and i could legitimately execute all the parameters? wouldn't that be crazy? but coming up with an answer in the first place is difficult enough, because this sort of thing is sort of fleeting and capricious.
it might be better to ask, then:
i am best off when
i am best off when i'm healthy and productive and when i feel like i'm sharing myself with others. i need to feel a connection to people whom i value; i'm feeling my best when there's some sort of productive or meaningful contribution to either another person or a cause, or some project or assignment i've been working on. i'm best off when i'm not taking stuff to seriously and can laugh at my mistakes, but i'm still working hard and my earnestness hasn't given way to something more tired and jaded. when i'm excited, and in love with the world, and not lonely, i'm at my best.
i do not want to work too hard to achieve those parameters, because sometimes the potential for disappointment and the ensuing anxiety or sadness therein outweighs the gains. sometimes these are just conditions that you have to wish for and hope you notice them when they pop up at the given time and circumstance. and i suppose that is all one can really do- to hope to take advantage of them when they come up; to cultivate and foster situations where they might be more likely to occur; to not get too preoccupied with the likelihood or nature of their occurrence, and to not limit yourself to only them, etc.
i am best off when
when i'm with you
and i feel my heart pound in my chest when i run at twilight
when a journal article i've read is all marked and highlighted and i know each paragraph and i can have a conversation about it with someone
we look up at the moon and stars together
drinking warm jasmine tea
when i'm so excited about something that i feel a flicker through my chest when i think about it. right now, that is the thought of my future- beautiful and untouched, untainted, the potential of it. real exciting stuff. :)
leesah-likes at 12:58 a.m.