2009-12-21
sol est ice
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
Albert Camus
Today, great darkness. The earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun. Winter is officially here. Aes a ni sa ti ni miws i-- thgiled erom yna ksa ton od i
This wine, it must be finished off, before it turns to vinegar. Before it gets that bite to it, causing me to make a face. What a funny expression, to "make a face."
What is your compass....
"you were beautiful when you took me in
underneath your covers, slipping through your skin
i didn't know this possession i was in
Was it love
Was it sin"
I should try writing again. But I'm afraid of not knowing what to articulate about the human condition. We probably all just want to connect. I hope the desire to connect, the preoccupation that might accompany the quest for it, the anxiety of just how to connect-- does not deter connecting. It's so unsettling to watch a movie and just not get it, or to feel underwhelmed upon completion of a classical, canonical novel. We want to tap into some communal spirit, to meld with at least one other at a time, yet retain some sense of our individuality, our own exquisite (illusion of?) free will. Oh but how.
only boring people get bored. his mom used to say it, pete would tell me that with a smirk, always everything with a smirk, a playful side smile to keep me engaged.
so maybe syllogistically, all interesting people are interested. i wonder if he would agree. I want to be interested. In, like, everything.
seeking: cluttered mess, complication. it's too dark in these parts-- you know, all this obscurity with the solstice and all-- to be held accountable.
leesah-likes at 7:04 p.m.