2009-06-16
panc--
I think running is my panacea. It makes so much sense in my mind. It leads to all that I think I want; it abolishes all the things I wish to rid my life of. I am not going to acknowledge any deeper roots than that. Not today, anyway.
I love when people have a way with words. Like a pitcher who casually tosses the ball up from his palm and back down before throwing a curve ball. Say it beautifully, say it right. I think I need more of this in my life, to hear and to read it. Like reading Virginia Woolf, she has a way with words. I wonder where I could get more of this.
There�s a lot going on right now. I guess there always is but I�m especially cognizant of it lately. And sometimes I feel like I see things so clearly, like how you can look at a drawing of a 3D cube and see it pop out one way or see it pop out the other way�it�s like I can see it pop out both ways at the same time. Or the two faces and the vase image�I see both of them, together. But I know that it�s really humanly possible, and I know that when I�ve somehow attained the illusion of it, my head starts to spin a little. I know I am incoherent at this moment. But I don�t feel like digging deeper right now, like writing it all out. My emotions are strained. And I�ve thought it all anyway. Socrates did not commit his thoughts to writing. He had some sage argument for why he didn�t, but I�ve since forgotten it. I�ve forgotten lots of facts that I have learned.
I�m not sure what to do next� usually my big questions burst and dissolve into lots of little tiny pieces, they wisp away, and the disintegration of my question, amidst reality, is the answer itself.
...or running, as I suspect, is the answer. I�m never the answer.
leesah-likes at 7:13 p.m.