2007-12-05
press and click
Laptops are okay but I miss the sterile, precise clicks of a keyboard. I do not like that sound when it is a lady�s high heels striding upon the floor because I consider the sound and act of it an irritating and ineffectual form of attempted intimidation. Just because your soles create that sound dictated by the suaveness of your strut does not make me convinced that you are professional or whatever image you are trying to exude. But on the keyboard, the succession of stolid clicks, systematic, brisk, and sharp, indicate a flow of impressiveness hardly matched by stilettos.
I yearn for reaffirming sound of the continual keyboard clicks. They are a symphony for me. I use the melodious song of progress- click followed by click a thousand times over- to write, and I write because I have a mere inkling that I have something to say. But sometimes I un-convince myself of that.
For instance, I don�t know what to say about Carleton. It�s my school, it�s where I go. It was my decision, and I made it. Now I live, work, and play there.
I chose it because the alternative didn�t live up to my idea of it, and because I had a good visit there. It meets all the criteria I am looking for in my education, amongst them: not too many people, liberal arts, away from home.
Sometimes it seems the negative side of those characteristics is more evident: too small, too liberal, away from home in a boring, flat rural Minnesota way. I am a positive person. I want to be positive. This is my situation, and I want to make the best of it. I want to improve, I want to enhance and nourish the good and not bother with the bad. These are my philosophies, my creeds, I tell myself. But I struggle to make them my actual reality.
Isn�t that a grand dilemma in life? The discrepancy between theory and practice, the troubling gap between what we think and how we behave? There is ideal, and there is real. We strive to overlap the two in a glorious union. Or at least I do. And I don�t want to resort to hokey philosophies about following your heart and living your dreams. Even if they are true, I resent their cheesiness and how wishy-washy it sounds, and I want to do something true for me, a personal truth. I can make my life good. My say and think can be my do and be. I can do this. I�ll keep thinking.
leesah-likes at 3:16 p.m.