2006-06-06
getting clean
I am starting to clean out my room.
The mess has been building upon itself, ever since in the past few months as I let it go. I'm trying to organize and fix. I'm finding stains or marks I had forgotten to remove. I'm taking the time to rearrange.
Along the way, I'm finding reminders of what has passed. Girl's Life Magazines from 1998, back when the future seemed bright enough to quantify in time-capsule-esque journal entries. In seventh grade, I had myself married and best-selling by age 23. Sheesh.
I'm finding Northwestern brochures, recalling that beautiful dream of Chicago. And I'm smirking about how it was wrong, and how I really had no idea.
English papers from years past, being critical of their contents.
Pictures of years past. Looking at my face and how much younger it was. My eyes looked better-rested, my face rounder and more fresh with youth.
I'm ruffling out the bedsheets, letting them flutter in the wind that the air softly carries as the cotton holds in the sunlight and it's making this dove canopy. Ribbons are galore, and beaded necklaces are collecting themselves on my favorite rack. I can see the actual floor again.
I am glad things are getting cleaner. But with tidyness comes scrutiny. But I'm ready. I want to rearrange with my own personal blend of feng-shui.
And now I'm left with summer. The sensation of a sunburn, and the yawn of one a.m. Cleaning up. Trying to write. Live and let live.
leesah-likes at 11:32 p.m.