2005-03-05
it's not easy being blue
i cannot sleep any more. vivid dreams, but it's over.
less is what you make of it. less is always there. a glass half empty of your preferred beverage. i do not know if it is optimistic. there is always something less to be had. things can always get worse. as long as less does exist, i am aware of it. i can make more to be less of what it is. reality is a suggestion. in my mine, there is less.
we've been learning about displacement of matter lately- particularly diffusion- in both chemistry and biology. everything wants to be in equilibrium. it all dissapates to an equal pressure and volume as best it can. i am beginning to realize that my head is impenetrable. there is a higher pressure and volume of blueness in my head than in the rest of this world. a lack of homeostasis for sure. this is where it gets more (less) complicated. my pressure and volume is supposed to dissapate outward into the atmosphere it equalize it all. i know that can't happen. instead, my head needs physics to be defied and for the low pressures and volumes to be emitted in my head, and for the blue to somehow vanish. this matter much be vanished away.
oh, dear, what can the matter be?
I don't want to try to explain the blueness. It's not easy being blue. To want more (not less) from this world. Than anyone or anything is willing to offer. I want at least see the world. Aladdin did that for Jasmine.
it's not fair to expect more from people than they are able or willing to offer.
i'm glad this week is over with. if yesterday were wednesday, i would not have been able to make it through the week. but instead it was friday. it was a great one, too. as good as last week's. and now today is saturday. i have to find a way to make myself in the mood for it. i won't be taking a bubblebath. maybe i'll read my book.
less. more. who needs quantity?
leesah-likes at 9:27 a.m.