2005-01-16
better
through studying, i am learning a lot. i am trying to be content with how things are, and the fact that they will just be a bunch of letters on a sheet, and so what if they don't all match. this statement seems obvious, but i have never known as much as i know now. my brain has information that has been culminated since the beginning of my existence. i feel knowledgeable. i am reminding and reteaching myself concepts and am starting to see how they tie together and what they mean and why they are worth knowing. that there kind of sounds deep. i wonder if it is.
following that line of contentedness, i think i am getting better at accepting that i am a good person. i like to see other people happy and know that i can influence them in that direction. i can appreciate them more. i wear that hat all the time, i take it to my meets and i think of what it is beyond function. i don't mean just objects here, that was a mere example. but yes, i at least want to be a good person, whether i am or not. i know what i am doing, even if sometimes it is ironically oblivious or a bit false. i want to be more in tune with everything that is going on. i am OK with having my nose in a book, but not to the point of suffocation. my room is a filthy mess. i pile and spread all my books and paper acrosst my bed and then i study. i stack and pile them up when i am all done and spread out the down comforter and attempt to sleep. reaching the second apex of this season. hold on, press on. i can be good. i can be better.
leesah-likes at 10:58 p.m.