2004-11-07
the future is before us.
Table Tennis on the TV. I'm impressed with it. I guess they couldn't call it "ping pong" at the professional level. Philadelphia cream cheese is ok, lox. I told myself I would begin at two. I will. I'm only just waking up.
Elena is distinctive. I've thought about it and realized that whenever she is about to do something she knows I will dislike, she is sure to announce it so that I can hear. She will never start bothering me so pointedly without first informing me. "I'm gonna listen to Avril Lavigne on my CD player while I wash the dishes." Sure, uh huh. That's when table tennis commentary drowns out some whiny Canadian. Not that I'm racist or anything (is Canada a "race"?) but I was looking there for a low blow.
I had a good weekend. I always have troubles sleeping the night inbetween. I seem to be the only one. I know some really great people. Some are really nice but a bit dull every once in a while, others I get to know better each time. "Dogfight" really is the wrong word. I couldn't ask for better colleagues. (I hate to use that word because it sounds so dumb, but it's appropriate this time) Our team rocks. It will only get better.
I am still surprised people know the same songs that I do, but I shouldn't be by now. No one is ever left behind, ever forgotten. That could never happen. I slept a lot today, I slept away the first half.
My burn is looking weird. This is November, it has been for a whole week. What the hell happened to August. I guess I'm getting a bit sick of time passing by. But to say that makes it seem I am ready for it to stop right here and now, when this is not the place or time I would prefer to be when time stops. Take me back to August.
"Becky needs to lighten up." I love the fact that I can say this to someone out there and that they'll actually agree with me and discuss why even though I have no idea what it means or no justification whatsoever.
Competition is a bit stupid because it is all a matter of comparison. I've never really been up for that. People don't really determine how good you are, the closest they can get to judging that is on a relative scale. I think it's really dumb, but it seems to be the way the world works, and I offer to other feasible alternative.
I wish my mom was here right now. I miss her a bit. I remember getting those feelings at school, though not within the previous three years or so. It would be just a teeny hurting thought, I miss my mom. I don't even know if it was really Mom I missed. Just the absence of the presence of her unconditional love and unwavering assurance of my success at everything in life. She is so good to me, and actually has to put up with all of my crap (not just some of it like a few unfortunate others) because she's my mom.
Every thing will change. The past will change, and the future. It's before us- the future- which is a funny way to put it considering the somewhat complex meaning of "before." Better times have yet to come.
leesah-likes at 12:44 p.m.