2011-11-10
worn
I'm afraid that you'll leave me.
But please, don't stay on principle, unless we're married and that's how you think marriage works.
I'm afraid that I'll never be a good partner in a long, long-term relationship, because I will not change, as dynamic and erratic as my quirks and sillyness seem, they are stable, and since I am not changing, not growing, we will stay static. And we will ferment. We will grind each others' gears and grate on one another's personalities, and the same vibe that was there two years ago will be there today, and it will feel old and overdone. We'll never change, we'll always regard each other the same way.
Because I have nothing else to give to you. This is it. This is all, and you're not entirely swept away with it, you think there's more to come, or at least you hope there is, that we haven't yet fully realized the wonderfulness in how we can support each other and grow together-- but let me spoil the mystery for you: there's not. Behind my veneer of caprice and enthusiasm, I am mundane, continually facing the same struggles and challenges, and always failing to surmount them, with a unique blend of self-righteousness, pride, and stubbornness that poses as a strong a confident sense of self.
How can I ever be with anyone forever.
leesah-likes at 6:22 p.m.